Fanfic: Flower Petals

Flower Petals by Maia

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

That was good. I liked it. You have talent and insight. I wish you'd write a proper story that doesn't leave me wondering what you didn't tell - or at least one that tells a whole story out of what you don't tell.

Thank you.

The second and the fourth drabble from the first chapter are actually very condensed versions of something I was trying to write for Femgenficathon. I ended up scrapping it because I was trying too hard to reach the word count and the quality got lost.

I think in the other thread you mentioned some inconsistencies. Could you point them out please?

Going back and re-reading it, I can find only one. It's just a minor point in the last petal(?).

Balsa is a Kanbalan and from what we can see in the show Kanbal is a mountain country with it's own culture where people live simple lives with great respect for one another and the nature around them. It seems to me that such a society would have no room or need for palaces - unless you're saying that Balsa and her father didn't actually live in Kanbal.

It would make more sense if her father was either a farmer or some sort of animal herder. Those are the only professions I can think of where he would leave the house on a daily basis. If he were any kind of craftsman his shop and his dwelling would likely be the same building so he wouldn't be going anywhere to work.

What I really want to know is whose soldiers were those, why were they coming to Balsa's house and why did Jiguro feel the need to kill them and take Balsa away.

The ones about Torogai have an almost Zen feel to them.

Heya,

Actually, wasn't Balsa's dad a Court Doctor or something to that effect? I could be wrong, tho.


Tootles,
Ali

Um, have you seen the whole anime? The last drabble is taken pretty directly from Episode 21.

There is no direct mention of a palace, but her father is the Royal physician and he does go somewhere to attend to the king. Also, the building that Jiguro and Kalna were sitting in front of did look pretty grandiose.

So, although I don't think that Kanbal is as lavish as Yogo, I don't think it was very simple either. Balsa even says that "Kanbal is a small country, but even in such a place, people constantly want to create conflict".

If you haven't seen the whole anime, then there are spoilers in this next part.

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The soldiers were sent by the king's brother Rogsam to kill Balsa. He had been blackmailing her father with her safety into administering a slow poison to the king. Her father asked Jiguro to take her away and protect her, but he had initially refused. Jiguro's actions weren't explained, but he did show up to kill the soldiers that were sent after her and take her away.

In the previous drabbles, I was trying to establish a previous relationship between them that might hint at why Jiguro chose to save Balsa and why she so willingly went with him.

I stand corrected. It's just as you say, Maia. What I thought was a minor inconsistency was an indisputable fact. It's been too long since I saw that part of the series and my mind took the time to alter and forget whole aspects of the plot.

Thank you much for the correction and the last push needed to make me dig up my copy of the show.