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    A Mother's Love

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    sweetnsassy
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    A Mother's Love

    Post  sweetnsassy on Thu Feb 19, 2009 8:31 pm

    Well, I've gathered up my courage and decided to post one of my fanfic's up on the forums. Since there isn't section for it, ryukazi11 gave me permission to go ahead and post here. Feel free to read and critique, but bear in mind that this is the very first fanfic I've ever posted online, so try not to shatter my fragile ego *just kidding* All right, without further ado...

    A Mother’s Love
    The chamberlain stood silent, watching, awaiting orders. The second queen sat still by Prince Chagum’s futon, hands clenched in her lap. They still shook from her earlier terror. When she first received word of Prince Chagum’s fall into the river, her only thought was a desperate need to hold her son. But now, with the immediate panic subsided, her mind raged with a thousand thoughts.
    Her suspicions, her fears were correct. Beside her, Chagum slept, recovering from his ordeal. She gazed down at him. He looked so helpless, so innocent. And yet, the Mikado believed him demon possessed. That incident at the hot springs, today’s events…the evidence was there. The prince was under a death sentence issued by his own father. The second queen heaved a noiseless sob. Even so, she couldn’t bring herself to hate her husband for issuing the order, or Master Shuga for telling the master star diviner. She could only plead with the heavens to spare her child’s life. Nothing else mattered.
    She stared at Chagum’s face, absorbing every detail. The curves of his jaw, the softness of his cheeks, the shadow his eyelashes cast on his cheeks. She took it all in, committing it to memory. She knew that this could be the last time she ever saw him. As horrendous as it had been, the “accident” at the bridge had provided her with a solution she so desperately needed. Her men had found and brought to the palace the warrior who had saved her son’s life. She hadn’t been expecting a woman, but perhaps that was for the best; her son would not be completely without a mother.
    “Go and fetch your most trusted men,” she instructed the chamberlain. He bowed and left hurriedly. She gently shook Chagum. “Wake up my love, quickly. We must hurry.”
    Prince Chagum blinked sleepily. “Mother…” he yawned.
    “Now, my dearest. Hurry.” She took his hand and pulled him to his feet. Feeling his warm palm in hers, her heart constricted. But she steeled herself to do what was necessary. Her pain was nothing; all that mattered was Chagum’s safety. The door slid open and the chamberlain bowed.
    “We are assembled, my lady.”
    “Very well. Let us hurry.” She slipped out into the passage, Chagum still at her side. His chin drooped to his chest and his eyelids slid half-shut. The second queen looked at the gathered men: seven all told. So few, she thought.
    The procession ghosted down the passage to the warrior’s bedchamber. The second queen listened as she was roused and stepped into the room. The woman’s eyes flicked up to her own briefly before she moved aside for the royals. The second queen was impressed by her courage and reassured by the determination and spirit in those eyes. This was the right choice, the correct path. With this woman, Chagum would live. She gave a miniscule nod to herself. Whatever may come after this, her mothers’ heart had no regrets.
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    GrinfilledCelt
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    Re: A Mother's Love

    Post  GrinfilledCelt on Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:05 am

    I liked it. You have skill. The only criticism I could make is that what you have fits with the story we know* but it doesn't add anything to it. Tell us something that we don't already know from the anime.

    *You may want to add something about the Queen gathering whatever jewels she has.
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    sweetnsassy
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    Re: A Mother's Love

    Post  sweetnsassy on Fri Feb 20, 2009 2:44 pm

    Thanks GrinfilledCelt! I plan on writing a story set after the anime, but for now, I wanted to get a little more into the head of the second queen. I like writing stuff from the perspective of secondary rather than main characters.

    *Ack, you're right! I completely forgot to add that. D'oh!
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    ryuzaki11
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    Re: A Mother's Love

    Post  ryuzaki11 on Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:24 am

    This is excellent. I like it. I'm commissioning for a rhyming poem, I'll be writing one as well.

    When I have time.
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    sweetnsassy
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    Re: A Mother's Love

    Post  sweetnsassy on Mon Feb 23, 2009 5:56 pm

    Thanks ryukazi11! I'm not entirely satisfied with it (the ending seems blah to me) but glad to hear you like it. Get to work on that poem; I can't wait to read it. I <3 poetry, but I can't write any to save my life, lol.
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    ryuzaki11
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    Re: A Mother's Love

    Post  ryuzaki11 on Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:33 pm

    Will do, after all my church stuff is done, 'cause yeah busy week.

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